It was only a dream

I was thinking about him

Thinking about me

Thinking about us

What we could be...?

Open my eyes, yeah; it was only a dream,

So i travel back, down the same road 

When I'm back, no one knows

I realize, yeah, 

....

It was only a dream.  

</3

xxx

Promise me you wont forget

It was on the 21/11/2010 when i first talked to my dad for the first time since 6-7 years it was i must say emotional but yet i was so happy he means the world to me hes my soul and life, he might live across the world i might miss him, but i know he thinks about me everyday and i do the same.

Preying that one day we will see each other again <3 since the last time we saw each other i remember it as if it was yesterday i might of have been a lot younger but its all so clear, all the years before, as my grandma said i spent it with her or with my dad :) the closet people i had in my life,  

but when i had to go my dad said one thing to me and hugged me goodbye but i didn't know it was going to be for so long, 'promise me you wont forget who's your daddy, if you ever get lonely remember all the good times we had' his hugs where like no one else. The warmest and the best i remember that one the longest.

Could of been me or i saw him cry. I know i was; I just didn't understand. And then i had to go, as he waved goodbye and  my heart wanted to run back screaming to break free and go back i knew i should just stay quite and to do what was beaning said to me, but i couldn't the only thing that was on my mind was where was i going and why wasn't daddy coming with me? and when was the next time i will see him?

That's until now, I'm here; Have amazing friends who are always there. Think about my dad everyday wishing he was here but knowing his not. Having to hide behind a fake smile and tears of a clown. whenever something reminds me of him.

close my eyes and wish that he was here holding me again, and beaning there next to me telling me everything is okaii and that it was only a dream but i know it not not anymore.

I'm not going to give up hope i know i will see him one day for even an hour it would mean the world to me.

 I'm not sure how much i would be able to take soon i just miss him so much 

    I love you dad. more then words can say. 

xxx

Four letter word. LOTS of meaning ❤

Could be love,❤ could be toxic ☢ ☣either way it could hurt and either way it could feel good. 

there are many reasons.... But why do i have to fall for you. Once again, falling down this path of what they say is true. I never believed in this and still wont. Whats there to believe? the fact that you don't like me the same way i did for that long? i wish things could change, i wish i could change what i feel about you.. So you wouldn't have to go though this.

                       I try my best to hide it to pretend to be some one else who doesn't care but you see though my eyes and can tell that i care.

                                       Could you be the first? could you be the last? 

                                          either way this are the same from where we started. i just hope that he has no clue that i have feelings for him. either way, he will find out though me though gossip. though broken promises and lies.

                                         

                      Like a beautiful flower. When the times right it will fade, the same for me and you the feelings will fade as the time will pass and I'm telling you now if you want the chance take it now. Other wise its too late and she will fade. But its all up to you, i can wait. i don't mind you will always be there not catching me as i fall and get up to run back to you.

                            stumble and cry on the floor begging for forgives and to get over you. NOW that's too far, we both know it wont go that far XD but trust me now. take your chance and there wont be any regrets.

                                

                                                          either TOXIC,GAMES, TRUE LOVE       ☢ ☣ ❤

Fliming went wrong...

10.11.2010 the best day of her life. The worst of mine. 

Things couldn't be any worse could they? it all sounded amazing and perfect I spent weeks planing everything to the last detail, until the day came my hat got stolen -_- but I got it back and then everyone was everywhere and everything just went wrong in the end they said everyone had a good time. Well apart from a lot. Mr.Jones my lovely maths teacher on my media and it just made me laugh, the way he did everything XDD the worst was yet to come when I yet got stuck on a tree. XD funny how things went. 

              We also found the chair that Will Brown broke by swinging back on it XDD why am i never there when these things happen ??!!! 

On the whole it was pretty fun and I hope everyone enjoyed themselves and my terrible filming XDD  cant wait until i make the whole trailer and I HOPE IT WONT BE AS BAD AS EVERY THING ELSE WENT ¬_¬

Guess What?_______________you loved it

GUESS WHAT? < mine and maxx's convo thingy XDDD you really love me for sending you Taylor Swift lyrics and for the people in my media movie trailer THANK YOU. EVER SO MUCH :)

Max im telling you i will take it XDD that skateboard will be mine XD not really i'd probs give it back XDD well after all the running probs XDD HA,

you people are amazing ....

Kat thanks for writing the book XD WILL IS AN AMAZING PERSON.... > THE WILL that is REAL,,, i am not the weird. leave me alone XDD you know you love it, OH COME ON THE RANDOMNESS ROCKS 

APPLES ARE FITTTTTTTT/your gonna eat me (YOUR FACE REACTION L.O.L)

and you said  Indeed.... XDDD BUAHAUHAAHAAHAHAHHAHAAHAHa amazing dude you are amazing

Max i guess your right but i still say if we agree on one artist then it would be better XD THE OFFLINE MESSAGE 'its, a love story baby just say yes' XDD you loved it :L:L

I wonder how weird people think i am. But once you get to know me i guess im normal XD or you............

    just get used to it XDDD

Forever Is Over

There where those times when i used to only think about you,

  Smile when i heard your name,

      See you and remember the image you stuck in my head,

             That one smile from the first day we met. 

                 Think only about you, as you let me beilive there would be more then this,

                      Or i just had hope for us to be.......

But now that you changed makes me laugh, you knew and you didn't care or say anything in return. How dose this effect me in anyway? I don't know but I just think its funny. The way we used to talk and now I cant even look at you if I do see you, trust me it wont be the same eyes anymore. I'm just not the same. I cant even look at the sky without it reminding me off you : / Gosh how I ask myself why did I fall for you and why didn't i listen to my head? when i knew things like this would change, but I never saw this one coming, lately things have been creeping me out and I never thought of you until now, tears? thank god I never had any cause of you. broken heart? you never did it I did because may I say this I don't believe in love but yes I do think I had more then a crush on you. But HONEY, things have changed we may not look at each other the same way, never talk any more. Wow and thinking of this  why did I like you? I feel like I hardly know you anymore or did I never know you in between the lines anyway. For this I'm thankful for what I have and what I have lost and things will never be the same trust me ;) 

Lost: Anything I ever had for you and any hope for you.

Got: My friends and respect for myself, easier said then done. ^_^

Anyway I'm thankful, for what you put me though, and what I have gained.

Shoting Arrows ---->

Having a lovey dream, then i hear my phone ringing who in the world calls me at 8.30am (i think) on a Saturday morning ?!?!?!?! just to find out it was my best friend Kat, XD asking if i was ready to go to archery ?... I am soo...................

               Its worth getting up, thinking and then doing it. 

                                                    I ended up having a fab time and learned a few things laughed my head off XD. Met new people. Talked to those who i never knew, meeting new people is an amazing thing to do and im happy that i met people like Kat,Jack, TOBYYYYY <amazing name!!!! and Alex and the one who IS going to eat me and is most posh. (love him really) the one and only William XD (happy birthday dude)

                      and Alex i can tell you will rule the world one day. one day... and that day will not come XDDD swooiiii ( but you didn't give me a hug X_X) and Andrew who i still didn't talk to :S

                                           

                                     I am a freak but people love me for me and who i am 

                                                                      i am not going to change for anyone ... 

                                                                                     For better or worse.

                                            I like who i am and that's all that matters.

                      Until the end of time. 

        Respect the ones around you and they will do the same 

   Don't point out flaws, 

Think about whats best  <3 

                    AND...........

                                  all i care is that....

                                        I know that your best friend.<3  XxXx

Runaway Train never going back

Can you help me remember how to smile?
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go

I know what no one else knows

Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

And everything is cut and dry,
Day and night, earth and sky,
Somehow I just don't believe it

Runaway train, never going back
Runaway on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughing at the rain
A little out of touch, a little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train, never going back
Runaway on a one-way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Runaway train, never coming back
Runaway train, tearing up the tracks
Runaway train, burning in my veins
I run away but it always seems the same

SKATEBORADING HAIRR !!!!!!!!!!!! im after you,......

I am after your skateboard and your hair XD don't get me wrong but its just that awesome !!!! i would just take it now if i knew where you where XDD but you like me for my weirdness and you love the fact a gave that cunt a headlock but the sad thing was no one filmed it and you was :( LOOOL you make me laugh, and i only met you a few days ago XD :P 
                Hope that we stay friends For a Long Time XDDD
                  Just Kidding By The Way
                                                Don't Get to creeped out by meeee XDDD